We’ve Got the Scandals Down, Now All We Need is Talent!
// February 5th, 2010 // Uncategorized
By now, everyone has heard enough about the amazing ridiculousness that is going on with John Terry. In the strange case that you haven’t, it appears that the fearless leader of Chelsea and England, who is married with children, had a serious affair, (not just a hook-up, mind you) with former Chelsea/England teammate Wayne Bridge’s ex-girlfriend/baby mama. (It’s just been announced that Terry is no longer the captain of the England Squad.
If you are American, you have probably also heard that this mirrors a situation from 1998, when then-captain of the USMNT John Harkes had an affair with USMNT striker Eric Wynalda‘s wife. You might also remember that John Harkes was controversially dropped right before the 1998 World Cup, with Steve Sampson claiming he wanted to take younger players to France. (I was thrilled — I always thought Harkes sucked, and I thought it was time for a change. In the end, though, the USA put in the worst performance of all 32 teams in the World Cup.) I guess his drop was really because Harkes was screwing the top striker’s wife. Amazing.
I am thrilled to hear all of this. It’s not that I’m not sad for Wynalda. He seems like a great guy and I will never never forget som of his moments in a USA shirt — he was one of the few players in the 1990s who was a skill player, not a guy just running around really fast (in fact, running around really fast was the one thing he most certainly could NOT do.) His performance in the 1995 Copa America in Uruguay (I was there) was enormous (three goals in the group phase), and his 1994 World Cup free kick versus Switzerland was a delight (but how Tony Meola let the Swiss score near-post in that game was the opposite). But again, I digress.
The real reason I am happy to hear this happened, is that it shows that our squad is almost ready for the big time. Intra-team sex scandal in England! Ha! We had that 12 years ago! We are almost there!
Posted by Lazar
14 Responses to “We’ve Got the Scandals Down, Now All We Need is Talent!”
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John Starks had an affair with Eric Wynalda!? USMNT did have a pretty sexy kit at WC ’94, but keep it together, Starksie, you’re teammates!
Nice typo: John Harkes had an affair with USMNT striker Eric Wynalda.
she actually had “affairs” with 5 chelsea players including Eidur Gudjohnsen:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2838478/Landlady-reveals-how-Eidur-Gudjohnsen-romped-with-Vanessa-Perroncel.html
“he was one of the few players in the 1990s who was a skill player”
Dont you remember that magician who went by the name Coby Jones?
I remember Cobi Jones had pretty skillful hair. Those shampoo ads he did during the 94 world cup are burned into my retinas. Each ad was shown at least 6 times per match.
Ohh and a very reliable source told me (about 5 months ago) that he saw John Terry at a club in London doing coke.
And he may or may not have been doing the line off of a hookers ass*.
*that claim cannot be confirmed or denied at this moment.
You’re right. This definitely proves that USMNT are ready. They’ve been training in this advanced, hush hush way for more than a decade. The big question is: ready for what?
was this coke that his dad sold him?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-Hq27Ml_nY
Well, thank God Rio Ferdinand is the new captain. England needs the inspiration of an upstanding citizen who would never dabble in drugs or any other form of moral turpitude.
God save the Queen!
WOW…
My source tells me that he in fact was doin the lines off a hooker.
In other news, Ted Terry, father of famed soccer player John Terry, is a hooker.
This isn’t up there with the blow or the hookers, but is amusing/appalling just the same.
From women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/article7011592.ece
I bumped into John Terry at a restaurant in Esher, Surrey, several years ago. It was a lovely Lebanese restaurant and it was a balmy summer evening so everyone sat outside. My table was next to Terry’s. There was a certain buzz in the restaurant as everyone turned to take a glimpse at this famous diner. Terry was clearly aware of the interest that he was generating. He looked at the menu and looked up at the waiter who came to take their orders.
“I’ll have burger and chips,” he said. His wife looked embarrassed. “You can’t John. It is a Lebanese restaurant. They don’t have burger and chips here,” he was told.
“That’s what I want,” he said. Clearly what Terry wants he usually gets. The waiter explained that they had no burger and chips. “Everything we have is on the menu. We serve only Lebanese food.”
Terry sent the waiter inside to check with the chef and bring him what he wanted. The waiter came back out again and said he was sorry but the chef said no.
“Send the chef out,” Terry said.
Minutes later a white-apron-clad chef came storming through the restaurant towards Terry’s table outside. He approached the England captain from behind, and said angrily: “This is not a burger bar. It’s a Lebanese restaurant. We don’t do burgers.” He then looked down and saw who he was talking to and said: “Oh my God, John Terry. I’m a big Chelsea fan. Of course you can have burger and chips, I’ll get them straight away.” If you are Terry, it seems, the rules are different from those that exist for other people.
but think about who the other contenders for captaincy are:
Steven Gerrard who smashes DJs in the face if they don’t play enough Phil Collins or Wayne Rooney who sleeps with Grandmother prostitutes:
http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/img/sun0816.jpg
The most appauling aspect with the John Terrible affair is that it has overshadowed the REAL story of the year, Jordan (she of incredible chahootas) got married to a gage fighting moron in Las Vagas.
I wouldn’t worry about England in S.A. they will be too exhausted to play soccer properly what with all the Tabloid revelations and the WAGS latest requests for God knows what (usually hush-money, but who knows !).
USA -666 England – Lucky to get 0
I find the recent events to be surprisingly favorable for the yanks – although evidence of a crazy US plot has arisen.
Think about it – Terry sleeps with Bridge’s baby’s momma, then loses his captaincy. Donovan breaks Ashley Cole’s ankle in the Everton-Chelsea match, and Bridge gets a call-up for left back. A distraught Terry alongside a cuckolded Bridge, together with an in-form Donovan… that opening match will be a cracker.