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What To Watch

// January 30th, 2009 // 9 Comments » // Uncategorized

 Saturday

Arsenal v West Ham, 10am, Setanta Sports USA

London Derby: Check! Two teams on a decent run of form: Check! History of Attractive Football: Check! Arsenal are on a decent enough run of form but only gaining a solitary point against  Everton (it’s pretty hard to win against a team that plays a 4-6-0 formation) know they really need a win to try and close the 5 point gap between them and the glory of finishing 4th.  West Ham will be buoyed by their excellent midweek transfer: yes, the extra confidence of knowing Craig ’9 iron’ Bellamy is no longer at the club is sure to put a spring in their step. Holding onto Parker and Upson isn’t bad either. If only my building would let me install a satellite dish I’d be watching this. 

Aston Villa v Wigan, 10am, FSC

While all those lucky people with Direct TV will be enjoying the Arsenal game over crepes and pommengranate juice, I’ll be eating Lucky Charms and drinking Sunny Delight (Note from Ed: Sunny Delight kills babies) watching Emile Heskey power Villa to a fifth win in five.

Hamburg v Bayern Munich, 130pm, Gol TV (delayed broadcast)

This game actually takes place on Friday, but don’t worry, it’s not like you’re in any danger of finding out the score through the American Media. Or so I thought until I read this article about Hoffenheim in the Wall Street Journal. Jeez, King Obama has only been in power for a week and already America is turning away from real American sports and turning towards commie Soccerball). Which one of these teams will survive to challenge newly injury plagued league leaders Hoffenhim? 

Middlesborough v Blackburn, 8pm, FSC (delayed broadcast)

Is it still funny to highlight really shitty games and make jokes about how sad you are if you watch them? I guess it’s getting old…

Sunday

Liverpool v Chelsea, 11pm, FSC

Hmmmmm, I wonder what ridiculous subsitution or formation Benitez can perform so as to try and pretend he’s so much more intelligent than you or I that we couldn’t possibly understand what’s he doing. Recently he’s be substituting off Keane (if he’s even in the squad) and most recently Gerard when he’s most in need of a goal. Maybe he’ll start the game with no goalkeeper, that would really keep us trying to unravel the genius behind the goatee. I think the only winner of this game will be Manchester United. 

Lazio v Inter Milan, 2.30pm, FSC

It’s the fascists of Lazio versus Jose Mourinho’s internazionale. Wow, I really can’t decide who to root for. Lazar tells me I should watch more (some) Italian football but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

Pittsburgh Steelers v Arizona Cardinals, 8.18pm, NBC

I guess once a year I can take a break from Real Football to watch American Football. I think this year the USA will continue their incredible win of back to back victories in both the World Series and the Superbowl. USA! USA! USA!

posted by Cass

Scouting Trip: Report #2

// January 27th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // Uncategorized

Montevideo, Uruguay – This has been one tough scouting trip.  Every day I wake up, watch soccer highlights (more on this later), go for a run along the beach, watch soccer highlights, eat a big lunch, go to the beach, do some walking around, watch soccer games, eat dinner… you get the idea.  Oh, right, and I work in some scouting, lots of scouting.  Every night I watch games from the South American Under-21 Championship, which has produced a few good games and highlighted a few future stars.  I’ll see if I can file a report about the tourney later.

Sometimes the host of Simplemente Futbol gets out of his chair and juggles – it’s like heaven, they just speak Spanish.

But as y’all know, we’re almost as concerned with soccer coverage here at NMOB! as we are with the game itself.  And while there is a ton of beautiful football on offer here, it’s the coverage that really takes the cake.  The announcers are, to a man, terrific.  The games are called in a joyous, lyrical form, with play-by-play men not so much saying the names of each player that touches the ball, as much as they just change the notes and lyrics of a song that comprises each team’s attack.  It’s a beautiful thing.  And everybody gets it: they know it’s about the detail, the entertainment, and that it’s all supposed to be good fun.

And it’s not just the games.  The best thing about my annual trips to South America is… SportsCenter.  That’s right: SportsCenter.  But this isn’t the USA fratboy version (which is admittedly-good-fun-but-nowhere-near-as-fun-as-it-used-to-be-in-the-Keith-Olbermann,-Dan-Patrick-when-he-was-still-funny,-and-Craig-Kilborn-days).  I’m talking about the Buenos Aires-based SportsCenter, which is the same show, except that it’s 95% soccer from around the world, and announcers that get it, and who still can’t believe that they are getting paid to do this job.  I’ve been watching this show for ten years and it’s got the same ‘effin hosts that it had ten years ago (unlike the US, where all the good hosts “graduate” to boring straight-news jobs that they really wanted in the first place).  Here the SportsCenter hosts are soccer addicts– heck, one of them is Quique Wolff, a real former soccer player for the Argentine national team and Real effing Madrid for crissakes!  (And he’s not a stupid former player-analysis like here in the US, either – he’s a host of both SC and his own show, “Simplemente Futbol”, a great weekly half hour soccer program that contains a segment called “El Rincon de Diego” (Diego’s Corner) where he reviews some magical Maradona moment – amazing.)  But back to SportsCenter: they show highlights of nearly every game in every league around the world, all with ESPN technology and resources.  They have segments in each show called “Los Killer”, which is like our “Top Performers” and reviews the players that had the best games, and they do a weekly review of every goal scored by a South American in leagues outside of South America.  And the announcers are loving every minute of it.  I think it’s possible to get it on ESPN Deportes in the USA, but I’m not sure it they show the Argentine version or a Spanish-language American SportsCenter.  If you can find the Argentine version, do yourself the favor.  Da-nuh-na, da-nuh-na.

There’s also a great Fox Sports Channel, also based in Buenos Aires.  In addition to their own longer version of Fox Sports News (in which, get this, they play a game of foot-tennis every weekend with three of the show’s hosts and one celebrity guest, be it a footballer or a musician – I mean, come on, how awesome is that?!), Fox Sports Channel (it’s actually called that, even in Spanish) also has a daily (yes, daily) show called Fox Sports Classics, in which they show a great old game from South America, or do a narrated show that traces one team’s success in a major tournament.  I watched “Boca, Campeon Libertadores 2000” the other day, and the way they put it together was amazing.  One simple example: Boca beat River in the quarterfinals of the tournament, and in the second leg of that matchup, Boca won 3-1.  You might think that they would show only the goals, because they’ve got to cover a lot of games that Boca played in the tourney.  But, after showing the goals, the narrator said “Boca ya ganaba el partido, pero lo mejor estaba por llegar” (Boca already had the game won, but the best was yet to come).  What was to come?  A nutmeg.  That’s right, the best thing about the game, an Argentine superclasico in the quarters of a major tournament, was a nutmeg.  Granted, it’s one of the sickest nutmegs ever, but it was a pleasure to see it replayed over and over on the show.  Yes Boca beat River, yes they went on to win the Libertadores and later beat Real Madrid, but it was the sick working of Yepes by Riquelme that got the most replays.  Ole!  It’s gonna be hard to come home.

Posted by Lazar

Scouting Trip: Report #1

// January 23rd, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

Montevideo, Uruguay – NMOB! was good enough to send me down here for a bit to do some scouting on local talent — the fact that my parents live here and I was already planning to visit, pay for my ticket and all other expenses didn’t hurt either.  But I am taking this trip seriously, and took some time out of yesterday, my first day here, between meals of organic grass-fed steak (the local diet), to slip myself into a beach soccer game, despite only 2-3 hours of sleep on the overnight flight.  The work must come first!

There was some decent talent on display in Playa Malvin in Montevideo.  I was welcomed into the game easily, as my faux-mullet and mostly Uruguayan accent helped me seemed local.  (It also didn’t hurt that my second touch of the game was a goal with the outside of my foot.)  The best thing about beach soccer in Uruguay is how easy it is.  Every beach has goalposts lining the sand, and there are games happening all the time (as it should be).  The worst thing about beach soccer in Uruguay is that it is impossible to tell who is on your team.  Everyone in Uruguay looks the same: very tan; serious mullet, with the possible variation of a rattail on the right left of center of the mullet; and a tattoo of their favorite team over their left pec.  No shirts v. skins, lights v. darks, etc.  I guess when you live here year-round, you can tell mullets apart better, but I had no such luck.  Twice I made lovely backheel passes or dummies to people on the other team.  Whattayagonnado. 

I also need to work on my tricks.  I already think of myself as a nutmegger, but here it’s a whole ‘nother level.  Everyone plays like they are a number 10, and you can’t really dribble without trying to work someone silly — it’s kind of a rule.  Bodes well for European clubs trying to buy cheap creative midfielders.  Does not augur well for the Uruguayan defensive line of the future.  Whattayagonnado.

More to come.

Posted by Lazar

What To Watch

// January 23rd, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

Saturday

Doncaster Rovers v Aston Villa, 10am, FSC – Gah! I would choose FA Cup 4th round weekend to stand in for normal ‘What To Watch’ blogger Lazar. This is going to be tough, here goes: Doncaster Rovers have it al to do in this intriguing…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………………… I wonder what’s on Setanta…

Celtic v Hibernian, 10am, Setanta Premium – Wait, is Setanta premium the channel you have to pay $20 just to get in the door of an Irish pub to watch? Or is it part of the normal package? I have no idea as my new building won’t let me put a satellite dish on the wall.  Gol TV must have something good on…

Argentina v Peru (Under 20s), 2pm, Gol TV – Wow, this is tough, maybe I should finally get around to painting the bathroom on Saturday. I could get up really early and go to Lowes… No, there’s got to be something…

Manchester United v Tottenham, 2pm, FSC – Now this is more like it! FSC finally updated their TBA and what a heavyweight clash this is going to be. Hang on, didn’t I hear something about Spurs manager Arry Redknapp saying he was going to put out his weakest possible team? Aren’t United missing 8 first team defenders so having to consider John O’Shea actually starting a game? Maybe green would look good in the bathroom…

Sunday

Liverpool v Everton, 10.45am, Setanta Sports 1 - Both Merseyside teams drawn together in the FA Cup, merely days after meeting each other in the League. This is more like it. With only 6 short days having passed since these two teams kicked lumps out of each other, expect a thumping clash. It’s the FA Cup so anything could happen (although I’m pretty confident one team will beat the other or it’ll end all square).

Real Madrid v Deportivo La Coruna, 3pm, Gol TV – Brilliant Barcelona put 5 past a dreary Deportivo last week, how many can Real Madrid score? How many people care? Not I.

Torquay United v Coventry City, 11am, FSC – The area comprising modern Torquay has been inhabited since paleolithic times. Hand axes found in Kents Cavern date to 450,000 years ago, and a maxilla fragment known as Kents Cavern 4 may be the oldest example of a modern human in Europe. Covernty used to have a chocolate brown away jersey. Lazar, when are you coming back?

posted (with huge apologies) by Cass

No Comment

// January 20th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Oy vey

Here’s an article in Sport today comparing Pep Guardiola and Barack Obama.  The article notes that both are young and relatively inexperienced for the high stature of their new jobs, and both have a chance to make history.  Wow.

Posted by Lazar

Tough Losses

// January 19th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

Don’t get too excited, it’ll just make things harder later on

It was a pretty good weekend of footie.  Both Bolton and Stoke suffered some pretty tough losses, though.  Bill Simmons, the greatest American sportswriter, has developed a taxonomy for the levels of losing.  I’d put the Bolton to ManU loss at about a Level 3 “Guillotine” loss.  (Definition: your team’s hanging tough (hell, they might even be winning), but you can feel the inevitable breakdown coming, and you keep waiting for the guillotine to drop, and you just know it’s coming — you know it — and when it finally comes, you’re angry that it happened and you’re angry at yourself for contributing to the debilitating karma.”)  Bolton were hanging tough for a 0-0 draw all game, not letting United play or create many chances.  The crowd was supportive, but nervous, and you could tell that everyone in the stadium was kind of waiting for the guillotine blade to fall.  When it did, after Carlitos Tevez, by pure force of will, made a lovely turn, got into the box and crossed to Berbatov, it was not really thaaat surprising.

The Stoke-Chelsea game had to be a bit tougher on Stoke fans — I categorize it as a full Level 2 Stomach Punch loss.  (Definition: “an opponent making a pivotal (sometimes improbable) play… usually ends with fans filing out after the game in stunned disbelief, if they can even move at all … always haunting, sometimes scarring.”)  Stoke went up in the 60th minute through a lovely goal from Rory Delap (with his feet, oddly).  Given all that’s happened with Chelsea recently, once this game hit the 80th minute, I thought it was over.  You could tell Chelsea and Scolari were really feeling the pressure. And, it’s not like the two Chelsea subs, Belletti and Di Santo, inspired much fear.   The away fans knew it, too, and they were going nuts — I mean, worse-case-scenario, Chelsea gets a late goal for a draw, right?   That’s still a terrific result for Stoke.  But no, a goal for Chelsea in the 88th, and a spectacular left-footed blast from Lampard in injury time turned the result all the way around.  Both the away fans and the Stoke players, who fell to their knees at the final whistle, themselves were completely shattered.  Tough one.

Posted by Lazar

My Little Black Donkey

// January 17th, 2009 // 10 Comments » // Uncategorized

The funniest thing I saw this week was The Times’ Top 50 Rising Stars. Attempting to rank something as subjective and disparite as World Rising Stars is a pretty pointless exercise but the whole list was rendered absurd by entry number 30.  Masal Bugduv was described as Moldova’s finest, a 16 year old attacker who had a move to Arsenal scuppered by work permit issues. Although I hadn’t heard of many of the names on this list, there was something about Masal Bugduv’s name that made me stop and think.

14 years of learning Irish (gaelic) has never come in useful before (well apart from discussing how hung over I am in work to Irish friends on the phone) but after looking at the name more closely I realised what it was that had seemed strange about the name. Masal Bugduv is phoenetically the same as M’Asal Beag Dubh which means My Little Black Donkey! The fact that one of the reported references to ‘Massi’ came from the alledged Moldovan paper Diario Mo Thon seemed far less subtle. Mo Thoin is Irish for ‘My Arse‘!

Masal Bugduv Bossing the Midfield for Moldova U-17s

The Irish pranksters created the story by posting fake reprints of wire stories on various football blogs starting back in July and I bet they were surprised by the amount of publications that referenced this fake player. Check out Fedoracci for more details behind the hoax. Actually, this is not the first time The Times have reported on fictional characters. Those of you who watch Dream Team on FSC should really get a life. But, if you do, you may remember a character called Didier Baptiste. If you do, again, you should really get a life. Anyway, in the show he was linked with a move to Liverpool and The Times got confused and printed his imminent signing as a real story!

[update: The Times have now removed My Little Black Donkey from  their list. ]

Posted by Cass

Stop What You’re Doing

// January 16th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

I am blatantly stealing this from the excellent 101 Great Goals, but you have to see this.  My goodness.  Stop what you are doing, and enjoy the work of Monsier Stephane Sessegnon.

 Posted by Lazar

Inauguration Celebration

// January 16th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

It’s about to be Obama time, which is great for the US, the world.., and footie fans everywhere!  Apparently, the big man is a big fan, and even supports West Ham!  His ten year old daughter, Malia, plays youth soccer, of which he is very supportive. 

Posted by Lazar

Really?

// January 15th, 2009 // 22 Comments » // Uncategorized

The Guardian says that Mark Hughes so believes that Kaka is on the way, that he’s developed a “special” formation for him.  And The Guardian so believes this is true, that they have developed a special graphic, showing said special formation.  THEY MADE A GRAPHIC!!!!!  THEN IT MUST BE TRUE!!!! 

Posted by Lazar

[UPDATE]

I see your Guardian graphic of the formation that Kaka may play in and raise you The Daily Mirror’s photoshopped image of what Kaka would look like in a City Shirt! Based on this image the deal must be about to go through so I’m off to get Kaka’s face tatooed on my inner thigh. Nothing could go wrong!

[update posted by Cass]